Going Gluten Free

This is my 5th, 6th or 7th time attempting to oust gluten and wheat from my diet, I've lost count. It's even more difficult since I decided to go vegetarian again about a year ago. It's about the 3rd or 4th time I've gone vegetarian in my life, which has also been hard since I live in an area of the world mainly comprised of devout meat-eaters who do not understand my choices. It's much easier to go gluten free if you do eat meat though, because breads are a kind of filler in a vegetarian diet. Trying to do gluten free and vegetarian is not easy if you like the meat alternatives like Yves Veggie Ground Round and all those types of products which mostly all contain wheat gluten. I made a vegetarian chili last night omitting the veggie ground round, and to me the texture is lacking. I'm searching for meat alternatives like veggie ground round that I can use for texture instead, but without the wheat gluten. I wish Yves would make GF meat alternatives. I went to their website but found it difficult to navigate, and although they have a search option where you can click on gluten free etc., it was not in working order. When I went through all the products one by one the only things I found that were gluten free were canned goods. I wish they'd make gluten free veggie ground round and veggie dogs. I don't understand why they don't seem to have that yet. I do feel better when I stay away from breads, pastas, and anything containing wheat gluten. My digestion is better and my stomach doesn't have that bloated feeling. One of my sister's has Celiac Disease and she has to stay away from wheat gluten completely, she also has allergies and sensitivities to soy and dairy products. Although I seem to be fine with soy and dairy products; I've always felt better and healthier when I've kept pastas and breads at minimum, even before gluten sensitivities became mainstream knowledge. Spelt is supposed to be easier on digestion if you have a wheat gluten sensitivity even though it has gluten in it, and is closely related to Wheat. However, if you have Celiac Disease, it's best to steer clear of Spelt too. I'm just glad I'm not allergic to peanuts. I love peanut butter cookies and you can make them without flour which is awesome if you like peanut butter and aren't allergic to it that is.

Here's an easy recipe for Flourless Peanut Butter Cookies:

1 Cup Peanut Butter
1 Cup Sugar
1 Egg

Preheat oven to 350F/180C

Mix it all together and drop by teaspoon fulls on to cookie sheet.

Bake for approximately 8 minutes and let cool completely.
*(I find this recipe to be a bit too sweet so I use half the sugar.
You can use chunky peanut butter and even add some chocolate chips.)

Impossible Expectations

This is the first year in a very long time that I didn't make any New Year's resolutions. This year I'm not letting myself down by impossible expectations. My resolutions are generally the same every year; eat more healthy, exercise more blah blah blah. Instead I'm going day by day, taking small steps toward my goals and dreams, not overwhelming leaps that take me out of my comfort zone and make me crash and burn out abruptly. What is the definition of insanity? "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing year after year and expecting different results" Zamberletti of the Vikings 

This year I want to do something different, something that gets me somewhere. Somewhere closer to my dreams. I have no idea right at the moment what that something different is but I'm working on it. I do plan on eating healthy and exercising and all that stuff but it's not going to be forced and I'll be more likely to do it. You see, when I have to do something, I don't feel like doing it and I will procrastinate. Oh yeah, that's something I have to work on too, hmmmm, maybe later. Right now instead of having impossible expectations for myself, I'm going to have positive expectations. I think that's much more doable. Instead of dreading this year and all the bad things that could happen, I'm going to focus on all the good things that could happen. It's hard though, when the winter has been so long, ugly and demotivating. I'm just not a winter person. I know there are a lot of you winter lovers out there and that's good for you. I don't ski and don't want to either. I did ski a bit in my teens but at that time I didn't have all the back and neck problems I do now. So it's not appealing to me at this time in my life. I don't like to drive in the winter either or even walk. I don't like to be cold. I like to be warm. It has warmed up to -12C today with no windchill. I hope that's the last of the cold snap. I don't want to go through another winter like this. Positive expectations, positive expectations, positive expectations. I want to move! Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society.  The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.  ~Gil Stern

Crazy Cold Weather

A lot of people like snow.  I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.  ~Carl Reiner

It has been absolutely freezing in our place. This is the first time this winter that we've had the temperature plummet with the windchill at -39C today and -41 at its coldest point yesterday. We have had a heck of a lot of snow though, which is considered mild weather in these parts. It's either dealing with beautiful blue skies and freezing cold or snow and/or freezing rain and sleet. We are housebound with our pets. Luckily there are only a couple more days to get through so we just have to grin and bear it. Not fun. I can hear the wind howling outside, it sounds like our house is going to blow away with us all in it. We don't have enough heat in here, so lots of layering and blankets. Our front door keeps freezing shut and our windows are frozen too. Our backdoor is okay so we just have to go around the house and kick in the front door every so often. Fortunately we don't have it as bad as other parts of the country. One of my sister's lives in Alberta and is fighting -50C windchill. I think we're just short of being Popsicle's now, so I'm sure we would be if it were -50C here.  It's hard not to have anxiety when you're freezing cold; so I suggest getting as cosy as possible and wrapping up in a blanket, make some nice hot herbal tea, watch a comforting movie, show or read a book. I like to watch the travel channel sometimes when I'm feeling anxious. No scary shows or books and especially steer away from anything apocalyptic. Comedy is always a great choice.

Laughter is an instant vacation.  ~Milton Berle

Our -39C view

Frosty Window

Practicing Qigong

I've begun learning Qigong ( chee-gung ) and so far I really like it. It does feel like a workout but at the same time a nice relaxing meditation. I really should get in the habit of starting my day with it, because all day I felt blah, now that I practiced a little Qigong, I feel so much better. I'm thinking that I maybe could have felt good from this morning on, rather than suffering all day. I had one of those anxious for no reason days. I didn't feel like doing anything, but at the same time felt guilty about not getting anything done, and believe me, there's a lot that needs to get done. My back and neck have been bothering me for a long time. I went into the chiropractor twice and still I am having issues. I wake up almost every morning with a sore neck. I did something to my back/neck in November, and felt like I had a pinched nerve. The headaches and migraines that I'd been having were really giving me terrible anxiety. I'm slowly healing now, thank goodness. Anyways, I came upon Qigong and thought it sounded like an excellent healing modality. I've been feeling out of shape and sluggish due to not being able to workout in quite awhile, because of my back and neck problems and hoped this would help. I'm learning from a DVD called Qigong for Beginners. It's a 2 disc set with a bonus documentary on the practice of Qigong. The documentary was very interesting. The exercises are easy to follow which I think is great. If you're looking for a way to alleviate depression or anxiety and get into better shape, Qigong is the way to go.

Waiting for Spring

“Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.” ~Sarah Ban Breathnach~

I've been going through a dry patch in my life for some years now, although it's actually very damp where I live. I'm determined now to live my dreams. The truth is I'm just finding my niche now. I'm always working towards betterment in every aspect of my life, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. I feel I am in no place to judge others, that's something that I've learned the hard way. I accept and love all the people in my life exactly the way they are, the good, the bad and the ugly. I believe we are all on our own paths and life is hard a lot of the time. You never know what someone else is going through in their life. When you get that sad looking cashier, upset waitress, or miserable client that doesn't smile at you, don't take it personally. Like my sister Sara always says "It's never about you." I feel blessed to have such a wonderful close knit family. With all our trials and errors and lives that have run like an insane Soap Opera at times, we still always find our way back to each other. I am so grateful for each and everyone of my family members. Love them all:o) Everyone needs someone whether it be family, adopted family, extended family or just some really good friends. We all need that sense of connection and belonging, knowing that we are never totally alone, although it feels like it sometimes. We need to have that unconditional love and understanding, a nonjudgmental shoulder to cry on, this is what really counts in life. Not material belongings, but real love. I've been missing that feeling of connection lately. I talk to everyone on the phone quite a bit, but it's just not the same. I live so far away from my family. I miss them very much. I'm hoping to move closer to them one day soon. Hopefully my son and I can go visit this Spring and Summer. I want to see everyone! 

Louise L. Hay is one of my favourite authors; I have read a lot of her books. She is very inspiring. Positive thinking is what I'm always working on. Here is one of her books:

Finding Balance in Life

I'm stilling working on finding that elusive balance in life. Right now, in order to accomplish my goals, I have to write them down or they don't get done. I get a sense of accomplishment when I check my goals and chores off of a list. It helps me to feel more balanced in my day. Finding balance in my life is a constant challenge. I realize there's no way I'm always going to get everything on my check list done in a day, especially if something comes up and distracts me and throws me off track, which seems to happen a lot. I like to have a list for the day as well as one for the week or even month. I'm forgetful, I need these lists. I have to have a list when I go out to shop for groceries or anything else. I'm lost without my lists. Does anyone else feel this way? Priority list: Work, Social life, Play, Housework (not my favourite), Taking steps toward my Dreams each day, Exercise, Healthy eating, Education, Taking time out for the things I love to do and Self care. Balance is needed in every aspect of life when you suffer from anxiety and depression. It's important though not to beat yourself up if things go awry and just do your best to get back on track. Not everyone's priority list is the same. That's okay too. Write down what's most important to you. Write down your goals and dreams. Know that your dreams are as important as everyone else's. A really cool thing that I enjoy doing is making a collage or vision board. I think of a theme that I'm working on in my life at the time and cut out picture's, words, and sayings that resonate with me. I find doing this quite relaxing and centering. It's a creative way of sending your dreams and goals straight to your subconscious. I love it. 

Things to help ward off Anxiety

I have been experiencing anxiety and panic attacks for about 15 years now. They started when my son was around 2 years old. My panic attacks just came out of the blue. I could be standing in a grocery store lineup or having lunch with friends at a restaurant. I did not know what they were at first so it frightened me so badly. I thought I was going crazy and there was one point where I ended up in the hospital emergency positively sure I was dying. The doctor in emergency gave me a pill and I calmed down. There was a point where it was totally debilitating and I could not even handle watching television and didn't want to leave the house. I went to my family doctor and she prescribed me an anti-depressant. I didn't really know anything about anti-depressants at the time. I was put on Zoloft. It seemed to help curb the attacks but did not cure me of them. I was on Zoloft for a couple of years and then switched to the generic brand of it. I gained weight which doesn't help with anxiety and depression by the way. I stayed on anti-depressants for about 6 years give or take a few months. I decided to come off them on my own. It wasn't easy, it was in fact nightmarish. I had tons of withdrawal symptoms, shaking, nightmares, mood-swings you name it. It took me approximately 8 weeks to get off of them. Since then I have looked into many alternative methods to help with anxiety and even to this day it's an ongoing process. I have just recently had to take a step back and reevaluate my life, work and living situation. These are things I'm doing to help myself at this time: 1.) Writing a blog;o) 2.) Meditation/Deep breathing 3.) Exercise 4.) Doing the things I love more often including watching lots of comedies because laughter is very healing. Focusing on things that I have always wanted to learn. I am learning French and guitar and I find when I focus on either of these things I don't feel anxious. I'm going to start learning Qigong as well because I've heard of all its health benefits. Also, listening to relaxation music or music that is upbeat and positive is very helpful when going through a tough time. 5.) Healthy eating and cutting down on caffeine. 6.) EFT- Emotional Freedom Technique and Touch for Health. These 2 methods of getting the body and mind back into balance have been tremendously helpful for me. These are just some things that are helpful in curbing panic and anxiety without the use of conventional anti-depressants, there are many more and I'm always open to suggestions and learning new techniques. Well, now it's time to go and practice some French. ;o)